Today my family were talking about something that really stayed in my mind and made me kind of angry. At the time I was too busy thinking that I never spoke up and said anything to them and by the time what had been said had sunk in and I'd thought of a response, the moment had passed.
A member of my family had told a story of how her friend has twins, a boy and a girl, who are in their twenties and how both of them are gay. For some reason, the natural response from the members of my family listening was disbelief. They were saying things like 'that's so weird that both of them are' and 'oh what a coincidence'. Now to me this just doesn't make sense. If I was to tell them the same sort of story, but instead say I knew someone who had twins and both of them were straight, they wouldn't care. They wouldn't think it was 'strange' or a 'coincidence'.
I'd like to think of myself as quite an intelligent person. I'm in high sets at school and I have good grades. Tell me to write an essay on the causes of world war one or to analyse the works of Shakespeare and I'd probably get on with it quite well. However, if you tell me to explain why it's a coincidence for a brother and sister to both be gay, but not a coincidence for them both to be straight, I won't be able to give you an answer, my brain just can't figure it out.
I don't understand why, as the human species, we feel the need to label everyone and everything we see. This is mainly a problem when it comes to gender and sexuality.
Why, the minute the doctor announces our sex at birth, be it male or female, do we automaticly assume that the new born baby will identify as that sex and be attracted to the opposite one. It is so narrow minded and stupid of us.
As soon as the sex of a baby is announced we automatically pin labels to it.
For example, if a doctor says a baby girl has been born, the parents immediately whip out the pink clothes and blankets and dolls. They start buying pretend babies and prams, assuming the child will naturally be maternal. They start getting emotional imagining the baby as a bride, in a dress, walking down the aisle to her husband.
On the other hand, if a baby is pronounced a boy at birth, it's automatically assumed they will be manly and macho. The toy cars, action figures and guns come out. Grandparents tell him he'll break some hearts and have all the ladies lining up to be with him.
What is the point in the labels? What do we gain from them?
All they seem to do is cause misery and make children/teenagers feel like they aren't 'normal'.
If a girl doesn't want children, if a boy likes to show his emotions, if someone is attracted to the same or two, or all genders and sexes, or if someone deemed a 'boy' by society, actually thinks they might be a girl, that's okay! Why should we attach these labels, like tattoos, to babies from the moment they're born.
I've said something to my friends for so long, that I want to cement, kind of like a promise, in writing on the internet...
When I have children I want to make sure that I don't stereotype them, their clothes, their toys, the things they do outside of school. If my son wants to do ballet and my daughter wants to play football, why should that be looked at as weird? If my son wants to wear a dress, no problem. If my daughter wants to bring a boy home, I'm never going to ask her or tease her about him being her boyfriend, because not only does that make her embarrassed but should she actually be attracted to girls, me asking if she has a boyfriend makes it seem like I only expect her to date boys and that it isn't normal to date girls.
Although I'm young to say this, as long as my child or children are happy, healthy, safe and not harming anyone, I couldn't care less what hobbies they do, what they look like, what gender or sexuality they identify as, what they choose to wear, who they choose to date, if anyone, and what sort of lifestyle they choose.
It isn't up to me, or anyone else, to attach labels to my, or anyone else's, children.
Wouldn't the world be a happier place if we all chose our own labels?
I think it would be.
Speak soon
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